When you think about who you are, who you ought to be, how you react to things, and how you behave, this is one way of thinking about cognitive behavior modification. When you work on Cognitive Behavior Modification you change your beliefs and negative thinking into something that is more positive. Believe it or not you are what you think. Working on giving your brain new messages is the
ticket to thinking differently, which will in turn make you act differently. Don’t work hard on trying to change what you have done for so long. Trust that it’s there and you are not going to get rid of it. As a matter of fact, you can be guaranteed that it will occasionally come back to mind to aggravate you again.
You can now be smarter and recognize the bad thinking or negative thought and immediately change it to something more positive. Work on creating new habits, a new way of thinking, and reacting to your own behavior and the behavior of others.
You want to start being effective with your thoughts. Do things where you will not worry about them, feel guilty, beat yourself up or obsess about what you said or did. You also don’t want to do things because you feel other people want you to. Let others deal with their own stuff, concentrate on you and stop using other people as the excuse NOT to work on yourself. Think about it. What do you need to do? What are you putting off because YOU say someone else needs your attention or thoughts more?
Write down the things you need to work on. Start with the three most important:
These are goals you can set with your Coach to work on the above three items and act to start NOW.
Name three beliefs that you have such as:
Do you worry about what others think about you?
Do you have low self-esteem?
Do you have to be perfect?
Okay, now list three beliefs that you have of yourself:
Speaking of perfection – Do you know there are no rightful definitions of perfection or perfect? Sure, you can find a definition in the dictionary, but think about it. Your perfect is not someone else’s perfect. How hard do you work to make something perfect when the only person you can please is yourself?
When you are creating something for someone else, they will tell you how they want it. Keep in mind it is their perfection that they want to see. Try to listen and deliver what the other person wants, not what you think they should have, unless they agree to let you be creative or decide.
You have a vision of how you want something to be, but so does the other person. They are not you and you are not them. When it comes to perfection do whatever you are doing to please yourself.
No matter how hard you work, there will still be people out there that think it could have been done better. This is only because of their vision, not because you did anything wrong.
Do you know how many people especially kids, try to please someone else and never get a compliment or a high five? That is because the person they are trying to please sees things their own way, and your way is not good enough for them. If this is happening, stop trying to please a person you will never be able to please. You will feel so much better about yourself. Remember you are not necessarily doing anything wrong; this is the other person’s cognitive thinking and belief that is getting in the way.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill